


52 Flavors

by anime_babble



Category: Gundam SEED
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-24
Updated: 2012-05-23
Packaged: 2017-11-05 22:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anime_babble/pseuds/anime_babble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short stories originally written for the "52_flavors" Livejournal Community for the Athrun/Cagalli pairing. All chapter titles were taken from the themes set by the community.<br/>Disclaimer: GS/GSD and characters belong to Bandai and Sunrise. Fic takes place between the SEED and its sequel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Five Shades of White

I:  
A few days after the end of the war, Cagalli asks him if he thinks Kira will ever smile again, in a voice that is definitely _not_ breaking, but only because she’s refusing to let it. Athrun tucks a lock of stray hair behind her ear and tells her, yes, of course, they’ll see him through this. He’s strong, your brother (so strange a thing; the pair of them, _twins_ ) will mend with time.

He does not tell her some wounds go too deep to heal. He should know.

II:  
One day, Cagalli tries to bake him a cake; either Lacus suggested it, or Kira dared her, he’s forgotten exactly why. He finds her crying in the kitchen, hours later. She added salt instead of sugar and left it in the oven too long.

He takes one look at the burnt mess, and breaks off a piece. Chewing it slowly, he tells her it was delicious, and he’s really happy she did this for him (he appreciates the thought, that much is true).

She makes him a cake each month after that. Thankfully, her culinary skills improve, and so does his digestion.

III:  
Once, all of a sudden, as she’s wont to do (she always speaks her mind, he loves her for that), Cagalli asks him if he still feels anger at Niccol’s death. He tells her, no, he’s not angry at Kira anymore for that. It was a war they both didn’t want to be in, and it was a tragedy that was fated and unavoidable.

Athrun neglects to say that he sometimes wakes in a cold sweat, thinking of how he failed Niccol, and just what kind of squad leader got his men killed anyway? He wonders if the guilt will ever lessen. At three in the morning, he hopes it never will.

(She was asking if he was angry at himself; he knows that. He just couldn’t bring himself to answer).

IV:  
Three weeks after the assassination attempt at Athha manor, Cagalli yells at him to quit it, it wasn’t his fault and he needs to get some _sleep_ , he’s killing himself damn it! He stops her verbal assault by kissing her and holding her tightly, and still stays up till three that evening, looking over maps and security plans.

V:  
It is decided that every first Monday of the month, the whole of parliament will go down to the Orb War Memorial. To pay their respects. And since this means that they go with a branch of the Orb military and heightened security, Cagalli thoughtfully gives Athrun this day off. Surely, she thinks, he needs some time for himself; it must be tiring looking after her. She tells him not to worry, she’ll be fine. What she wants is for him to have a day in which to relax. To be happy.

He watches her get into the state car where the Seirans are sitting, and distinctly notes Jona smirking at him.

That evening, over dinner, he tells her how he spent the day with Kira and Lacus, and how they taught the orphans how to swim. She tells him about the memorial visit, and assures him that security was fine. The Seirans were attentive.

You sound like you had fun. Aren’t you glad I gave you the day off? She teases gently.

He hands her another lie, wrapped in his fake smile and the image of another one, to shield her. To stop her from worrying about him.

But this lie stings his throat and hurts.

[End]


	2. Living like a Jellyfish

Pink-chan breaks a few days after Lacus moves into the orphanage, and she brings it to Athrun’s apartment on her own, for him to fix. Cagalli is the one who answers the door and lets her in, and she is struck by the fact that this is the first time that they, the three of them, have been together without Kira present.

Athrun and Lacus smile and talk like the old friends that they are—-do you remember? Wasn’t that funny?—-and Cagalli is suddenly so very conscious that but for a twist of fate, the two of them would have eventually married, and in time, produced highly desired co-ordinator offspring.

For the half hour Lacus is there, Cagalli watches her, sitting primly on Athrun’s sofa in a pale pink dress, ankles crossed like a gentlewoman; the very picture of perfection. Her skirt flows nearly to her feet, ending in a ruffled flounce.

She looks down at her own t-shirt and jeans, and feels like a child.

After, the questions are always there, hiding in the back of her mind and throat. They jump out at her, at moments she has alone with him. Did you ever look at Lacus like that? Did she ever force you to talk about your mother, your father, like I do? Did you tell her, like you told me? Would you have been happy with her?

If she hadn’t picked Kira, would you have picked me?

She can’t bring herself to ask him any of this. She is the Lioness of Orb, but for all that, she lacks the courage. He would never hurt her willingly, she already knows that. It’s what he will not say that frightens her.

When he finally finds the time to take a look at the Haro, Cagalli is there with him, handing him the necessary tools, holding the flashlight for him to see with. They work together with perfect timing, without words, in a flawless waltz.

Cagalli feels a perfect stillness and an absolute clarity. She doesn’t need to ask him any of her doubts. He’s already gifted her with all the answers a long time ago.


	3. The Imperious Life

Dinner at the academy is served at nineteen hundred hours, but the boys begin lining up at least fifteen minutes earlier, to be served buffet style. ZAFT spares no expense for their soldiers, even their soldiers-in-training; their meals are prepared by a 5-star chef, and they eat like kings. They bring their trays to the cafeteria tables and benches, but no one is allowed to begin until the officers are seated, and they've said the pledge of allegiance to ZAFT. Even then dinner is a march of chewing and swallowing; rowdiness is frowned upon, and silence is extolled.

For the most part Athrun eats his dinner quietly, even when seated with Niccol or Rusty. The officers all comment on his impeccable table manners, and instruct the younger boys to imitate him.

***

Dinner with his father, on the rare occasions he is home from military academy, is served promptly at seven o'clock, with no exceptions. He is expected to be in a shirt and tie and seated by 6:50, the perfect picture of the son and heir. During the meal, he makes polite conversation with his father; on school, class rankings, affairs of state, and on nothing that really matters. The meal takes the servants the entire day to prepare, as they slave over both the taste and presentation. Athrun shreds his meat into little pieces, never noticing either.

He is dismissed after dessert. Usually it is creme-brule, sliding, cold, down his throat.

***

His first dinner with Cagalli as her bodyguard, he spends in the backseat of the limo, as she orders greasy, cheap hot-dogs and soft drinks on route. She makes him try the hot-sauce, snickering a little when he finds it too spicy, and talks with her mouth full. They discuss how they put the caramel in Caramilk bars, whether or not they believe in fate, try to remember the lyrics to a song they both knew as children and finish, laughing, as they attempt to sing it.

It's the best meal of his life.


	4. The Heart of Your Gesture

They don’t exactly go on dates.

Dates, Athrun believes, should involve some sort of public declaration; this is me, this is her, and this is us, together.

Instead they spend time outside of Athha manor in one of two ways. Either he is the stoic silent bodyguard of the Representative, when Athrun fades into simply Alex Dino, or they sneak out of the manor as best they can at night, hiding from anyone who might recognize Cagalli for who she really is.

Cagalli always dresses down on these secret outings, believing herself to be less recognizable this way. Mostly t-shirts and jeans, though sometimes she wears a pretty top. But never a dress.

The first time Athrun sees Cagalli in a dress, it’s for a state function. She wears a green ball gown, for spring and new growth, as Princesses of Orb have worn for years before her. The dress is full length, with a modest neckline, and Cagalli looks devastatingly beautiful.

She dances with Jona, because it’s expected of her, and Athrun’s heart clenches at the sight of Jona’s hand on her slim waist.

It shouldn’t have mattered to him. But it did rankle a little—more than a little. She could be seen in the public with Jona, in all her vivacious beauty, while Athrun would never be able to do more than hold hands with her in a darkened theatre.

He doesn’t voice his jealousy—what could he really say?—and she seems not to notice. Everything goes back to normal the day after.

But when their next “date”, rolls around, Cagalli stuns Athrun by appearing in a little red dress, one that sends his pulse racing at the sight of her. Red for passion, for love, for Aegis and Justice both. And because she knows red is his favorite color, he realizes it is red for him as well.

What does it matter what the world sees, as long as they know the truth?

Cagalli offers to go out dancing with him, but Athrun suggests a different plan.

They stay in that night.


	5. Dreams of the Impossible

_Once upon a time, there were two sisters. The first was as beautiful as the day was long, and when she spoke diamonds and gold fell from her lips._

_The second was ugly and unloved. When she spoke, there fell toads._

_And poisoned snakes_

All her life, Meyrin had never been in the spotlight; that was always Lunamaria’s place. During her time at the military academy, she was always known as “Luna’s sister”. Her secret dream to become a MS pilot, like Luna was training to become, was dashed her first year, when she proved inadequate during simulation flights. Even then, despite her best efforts, she never scored very high on written exams, while Luna graduated as a Red. Luna was the one that all the instructors knew, with her cheerful smile and outgoing personality. Luna was the one who dared to alter the traditional uniform, opting for a scandalously short-miniskirt. More telling was the fact that Luna was the one who managed to get away with it. 

Meyrin loved her sister very much, but was a little glad when they both graduated and were to be assigned to their respective posts. A little time apart, she thought, would be beneficial to them both.

They both received a letter regarding their commission a week before they graduated. They were both to be stationed on the Minerva. A list of supplies they were to bring along, with an outline of their duties was included.

“I didn’t want to tell you till I was sure,” Luna confided, eyes sparkling, “but I went and asked if they couldn’t manage to keep us both together. Isn’t this great! It’s the perfect assignment!”

Meyrin tried to feel happy instead of angry, and guilty at being angry; she really was a terrible sister. “Perfect,” she echoed.

***

_While she slept, she dreamed._

_All her life, she had been closeted, forbidden to venture outside the castle walls. She knew nothing of illness, of sorrow, or death. She still knew nothing of life._

_Days, years, decades, and still she lay dreaming._

_One day, she awoke, into a pair of deep green eyes. And she had dreamed enough by then to understand the fluttering of her heart._

Athrun Zala was absolutely the most perfect boy that Meyrin had ever met. Not only was he smart, good-looking and capable, he was also kind and adorably shy. Not that Meyrin didn’t find herself growing tongue-tied whenever she was in his presence.

Luna, of course, had no problems in that area. And pretty soon it was subtly acknowledged between the both of them that they were both interested. Luna made herself known to Athrun early on, engaging him in conversations about his MS, shooting techniques, and what was Lacus like?

Meyrin, however, was the one who saved his life.

***

_And the Little Mermaid left her home under the sea; her father, her sisters, and her beautiful voice, all to be with the Prince, who she had saved without him knowing. And what did it matter if she was mute and that every step was like walking on glass if she could be near him?_

_He treated her kindly and she followed him everywhere, watching him with her large trusting eyes._

_One day the princess of the next kingdom over came to visit, and the Prince spent the entire day with her. Alone._

_“Little-one,” he told her, after the princess had retired for the evening. “Isn’t she wonderful? She is the only woman I will ever love, and tomorrow I shall ask her to marry me.”_

The first few days after she awoke on the Archangel, her first thought was only _Athrun_. Was he living, had he died? Where she was, and what was to become of her came second.

Knowledge of what had befallen after Shinn had tried and nearly succeeded in killing them both, came from a brown-haired girl with kind eyes, but mostly what vibrated in her skull was that Athrun was safe; injured, but alive, and expected to recover. Despite her own injuries, she begged the medic to let her see Athrun for just a few minutes.

On the third attempt, the medic relented. She was allowed to sit next to his bed for five minutes. And only five, the medic stressed, I don’t want you tiring yourself out again.

Athrun was still unconscious when she came to him, with many bandages wrapped around him. Tears arose in her eyes at the thought of him in pain.

He shifted in his bed. Cagalli, he murmured, Cagalli. His eyes never opened.

***

_We sold our hair, her sisters told her, we sold our hair for this knife. All you must do is kill the Prince—plunge this straight into his heart—and you can return home._

_She stood over the newlyweds, watching them sleep, tangled in each other. Her grip on the knife shook._

No one ever told Meyrin about the relationship between Athrun and Representative Athha. But then, no one had to. She saw the way they looked at each other, eyes expressing more pain and love than words ever could. Shinn once asked Athrun what a guy like him was doing in Orb; Meyrin thought the answer was now obvious.

What was also obvious was that things were currently strained between them. Whatever her feelings, Representative Athha had a job to do.

So it was not surprising when the Representative did not depart with them for the moon; after all, the country was in chaos, and as the leader, she could hardly leave at this crucial time.

Take care of him, she had asked. She looked like she was going to cry.

The ring that the Representative had been wearing on her fourth finger of her left hand was also suspiciously absent.

Meyrin remembered the competition with her sister, how she had felt so happy when Athrun had stood sort-of closer to her than Luna, recalled the little thrill she’d felt when he’d said good morning, even if that was all he’d said to her for a week.

Oh Luna, she thought, Luna, what fools we were.

[End]


End file.
